The Cave

Hello bloggers!

Today we did a long write for 55 minutes, this was my Draft about the Cave.

I think I did really well on my introduction because I added lot's of setting description.

To improve my story I need to add more to the conclusion and Resolution.

I would love to hear from you about what you think I should add to my story on my improvement session.

Enjoy!

Title: The Cave

Lush green forest filled the land, and happy little animals ran around in the grass. Squirrels clambered up the trees and the fruits on the bush's we're ripe red, ready to be picked. The smell of beautiful flowers drifting in the breeze. In the distance you can hear two pairs of shoes slap slap, one running, and one walking. You can also hear the birds chirping in the background tweet tweet.

“Hurry up!” June said as she ran full speed across the pathway, June groaned and started to keep the pace, she tripped and fell face forward onto the floor. “I told you you should be careful” Erika said trying to hold in her giggles. “We should take a break, we’ve been walking for hours” Erika said sitting down. “Um, maybe we shouldn’t” June pointed to a giant black cloud rising in the background. “Fine fine” Erika said hopping to her feet. The dark clouds we're already above them and the trees scowled at them slapping their branches. They found an opening to a cave and sat down dripping with water. “ARHHH!” June shouted as she tried again and again to light a fire “useless!” June said as she threw the stick to the cave floor. Suddenly a grunt rung in the cave, WHAT WAS THAT! Erika said through to Junes mind I don’t know suddenly a black shadow came running full speed out of the cave  and swallowed them whole, swallowing June and Erika's scream.

Roughly an hour after they have been taken away June was busy trying to get out. It was dark, and gloomy, and you could smell that this was old and rusted. The cold metal bars pushed June back forcing her to stay put. The sound of scuttling of rats and mice around the corners, and the BANG of someone in the horrifying place. later June realized they weren't were they were before. Where am I!!!! June said to Erika Do remember the old tale? Erika asked to June The one about the forest and then they get taken away or something? June replied Yeah excattly, but don’t you remember that our great grandma and our great aunt are twins? And they we're the ones taken away, maybe that has something to do with us! Erika said excitingly Whatever your idea is I want to get out June replied.

Wait a minute! Erika said we can pick the lock with our pins in our hair! Genius! June said and she pulled her hair pin out I’ll try! It took a couple tries but she was able to open it. “YES!” June shouted throwing her arms in the air. “Shhh not so loud June, they might hear us” Erika said her finger to her lips. They got each other out and tiptoed around the pathways, but whenever they though they came to a entrance it was a dead end. “How are we supposed to get out?” June asked, “ I dunno” Erika shrugged “Ok, I thought you were the genius, looks like your not right now” June said.

They kept walking and walking until they came to a big room. There was an ancient painting and writing on the front. “To escape the tunnel, two must be one, and one must be two” Erika said thinking “well how’s that going to help!” June said. “Well we are twins and maybe we are meant to be one person?” Erika said, “Like, that's going to happen” June siad. “We could try?” Erika said, they thought for a moment then held hands and said “two must be one, two must be one, two must be one!” they both said. Suddenly a glow came from their necklaces and some of the rocks we're glowing. Follow the glow Erika said to June kay June replied.

They followed the glow and magically they we're at the end. The rain had stopped and there was clear pathway back home. “YAY!” June said running around “Don’t fa “Ouch” june said as she stood back up “I told you!” Erika said, and they both laughed, they had made it out smoothly. But all Erika could think about is her book she left at the Cave opening, she knew it was ancient and old. Probably special as well but the main thing was is it gone or is it safe? But Erika just shook her head and kept moving forward.